So I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.
-Psalm 55:6
To truly know God, we have to be committed not just to the mountaintop experiences of His presence, but to the consecration of daily devotion to Him. Jesus told us to pray for “our daily bread” in expectation that, every single day, we would take time to speak with our Father in heaven, to go to Him and seek His honor, His kingdom, and His provision for whatever we need that day.
If we are determined to pray, we will have days in which our time of seeking God feels, at first, like pressing with all our might against the side of a mountain. We wonder, and may even find ourselves asking God out loud, “Why is prayer so hard?” It is worth considering that perhaps many battles have gone unwon and many mountains remain unmoved, because we found that prayer got hard, and we did not have an answer, so we gave up.
This kind of resistance in prayer is actually a normal part of the Christian life, so much so that God will not allow a true believer to go without this training. Graciously, He allows us to fail until we learn how to pass the test. The question is: What will you do when prayer is a battle? Will you stay in position when seeking God is hard? The resistance may be of the flesh, the world, or even demonic, but God uses it to refine us, to instill perseverance, endurance, and faithfulness.
I believe God delights to clothe us in the joy and anointing of His very near presence. But at times He will not allow us the luxury of feeling it, even though He is still near. The test is this: Do we pray because we are “feeling it” or because we love Him? Do we praise His name because we feel a thousand miles high in the Spirit of God? Or do we praise Him because He is worthy? If we are moved by His worthiness and by love for Him, then our prayers and praises will continue even if we feel horrible. More often than not, when we make the deliberate choice to keep praying, or to praise Him anyway, we will find His joy and His presence break through very quickly afterward.
David came to a place in His prayer where he cried, “My heart is severely pained within me” (Psalm 55:4). He wrestled with fearfulness and trembling; he was completely overwhelmed as he sought God (55:5). The desire of his own honest heart was, “Get me out of here.” If he were able to, he confesses he would “fly away and be at rest” (55:6). It is much easier to rest than to pray. It is much easier at times to work than to pray. Sometimes the most unappealing thing to our very capable and talented flesh is to take time to pray in dependence on God.
Maybe you, like David, have a myriad of reasons to be discouraged, heavy, and shaken from your commitment to pray. “This is too hard,” you might say. Believe it or not, a measure of hope and encouragement that only the Holy Spirit can bestow on you is waiting right on the other side of your commitment to persevere in prayer, to “stay put” until He blesses you.
We wonder why, on some days, prayer is as easy as sipping coffee and, on others, we are buffeted on all sides. All the while, God is busy forming in us a new mentality. Many operate in the kingdom of God like tourists. They are looking for the most exciting things and avoiding the ones that seem boring. They are skipping past hard spiritual work and searching out every opportunity for pleasure. But the Lord wants to cultivate in you and me the attitude of a soldier. Soldiers are stationed in the same locality and kingdom, right alongside tourists. But they have a high calling of duty and have committed their lives to serve. To a tourist, the soldier’s life may look like drudgery or mere obligation. That is far from the truth. It sometimes means pain, while other times it means great joy that cannot be known any other way. Tourists see all the novelties, all the mountaintops, all the excitement and fun. Soldiers may undergo pain while others play. But they see the kingdom advance. They see strongholds overthrown. They share the desire and passion of their king. They receive a measure of joy unspeakable and full of glory which a tourist in the kingdom does not know.
-Pastor Alex
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